成长是一个过程，成功是一个结论；成长是相关于生命的评价，成功是相关于社会的评价；成长是一个内在的系统，成功是一个外在的体系。我更希望孩子注重心灵、注重自我、注重人格，而并不是那么在乎外在的标签。

Growth is a process,Success is a conclusion;Growth is related to life evaluation,Success is related to the social evaluation;Growth is a inner system,Success is a external system.I more hope children pay attention to heart/Emphasize self/Pay attention to personality,And not so care about outer label.

　　于丹个人非常喜欢“成长”这个词。一个人的生命要成长，两个人的爱情要成长，一个群体的建设、一个社会的发展，都要成长。从一个人到一个国家，“成长”是最健康的力量，也是最恒久的力量，它不依附于外在，而是你自己内心的一种状态。儒家讲“君子日三省乎己”，是在“反省”中不断成长。道家讲的“道”是“寂兮寥兮，独立而不改，周行而不殆”。一个人的生命，难道不应该保持这样一种状态吗？一个人过分热闹了，就被社会的标准绑架了；一个人不独立了，就放弃了自由；一个人失去了周行不殆的能力，就停滞了。

Yu Dan people like it very much"growth"The word.The life of a human being to growth,Two people love to grow,A group of construction/A society's development,Will grow.From one person to a country,"growth"Is the most healthy strength,Which is the most enduring strength,It is not attached to the external,But a state of mind.Confucian speak"A gentleman, who has three provinces",Is in"reflection"Growing in.Taoist speak"way"is"Ji xi ratio xi,Independent and do not change,Go without almost".The life of a human being,Don't should not keep such a state?A man was too busy,Is the social standard kidnapped;A person not independent,Gave up free;A people lost the ability to go not dangerous,It is stagnant.

　　在于丹眼中，有两个特别重要的指标，就是尊严和自由。其实人这一辈子，一切努力都是为了提升尊严、延展自由。无论多好的职业、多好的爱情，一旦侵犯到尊严和自由，就会产生冲突，甚至出现新的选择。作为父母，我们不应该用任何好的名义去剥夺孩子的尊严和自由。

Is Dan eyes,There are two very important index,Is the dignity and freedom.In fact people this lifetime,All efforts in order to ascend is dignity/Extend freedom.No matter how good professional/Much good love,Once invaded the dignity and freedom,Can produce conflict,Appear even new options.As parents,We should not use any good name to deprive the child's dignity and freedom.

　　于丹提到尊严与生俱来，它不是被父母赋予的，也不是可以向任何人乞求的，一个人的尊严是他(她)自己的选择。记得女儿5个多月就在选择玩具这件事上，表现出了一种强烈的个人取向。她的周围堆着各种玩具，但是她爱玩的只有一样空药瓶子，她喜欢“咔啦咔啦”起劲地拧瓶盖。我们家的阿姨就从她小手里抢过瓶子说：“这个不好玩，你还是玩电动娃娃吧！ ”可是我女儿把电动娃娃推到一边，顽强地去抓那个瓶子，继续痴迷地拧瓶盖。我后来去咨询儿童心理学专家，他说那个阶段正是孩子的手指开始学习精细化动作的时候，拧瓶盖这个动作对孩子小肌肉的发育大有益处，可比玩电动娃娃好多了。所以，我们认为昂贵的电动娃娃更好，这只是成年人的标准。孩子的尊严是与生俱来的，不该粗暴地剥夺它。

Yu Dan mentioned born with dignity,It is not to be given by the parents,Nor can anyone to ask for,A man's dignity is his(she)Own choice.Remember daughter more than five months in choosing toys on this matter,Showed a strong personal orientation.Her surrounding a pile of all kinds of toys,But she loved playing only one empty bottle of medicine,She likes"Pro la pro la"Busily screw cap.Our home aunt from her little hands grabbed the bottle says:"This fun,You still play electric doll it! "But my daughter put electric doll pushed to one side,Doggedly to catch that bottle,Continue to be obsessed with ground screw cap.I go later consulting child psychology experts,He said that phase is the child's fingers began to learn fining action,Screw cap this movement to the child small muscular development greatly has the profit,Comparable to play electric doll much better.so,We think that expensive electric doll better,This is the standard of adults.The child's dignity is innate,Shouldn't rudely deprived of it.